Friday, April 29, 2005
On Friday’s I always forget to go to lunch until much later than I normally do. Stupid morning meetings.
Anyway, I’m off to get my eat on. You know, you know.
Coal!
The combustible of the future!!!
I couldn't think of a 'c' word for 'tomorrow'...damn.
Quicktime
Windows Media Player
Thursday, April 28, 2005
If you balls don’t stop bouncing and jiggling
Over the past week several people here have been purchasing large exercise balls to sit
on while they work. On my walk out the door or off to lunch I see them sitting on them, and not enjoying themselves. I have hear neither giggling at the fact that they can bounce with ease nor seen them rolling around on their stomachs. They all just sit there doing their specific task as they always would, and this puzzles me. As a complete schmuck, I have to say that this kind of activity would lead me to both giggle as I bounce and roll around on my stomach, as is evident the last time I interacted with one. Yet, this time I’ve been told that they help to reduce back pain, as you’re forced to sit upright, and help to build muscle in your abs, back and legs, and the idea of building muscles in my legs would be helpful as I try to rehab my way into optimum drumming form. The problem will be that pesky thing I like to call the outer child (No, I don’t have an inner child and outer adult, I have an outer child and an inner adult. I’ll explain… See, most people live their life as an adult, doing adult things and almost never releasing the ‘inner child’ that everyone is said to have within them. Me? I live my life as a child and at opportune times release my ‘inner adult’. It woks well while I’m at work, but as soon as I leave I’m a kid again…’booger’) that I’ve become so close to. It is who I am, and that will be a huge problem in my, apparent, quest to purchase and utilize an exercise ball here at work.
All that meandering aside, I’m probably just going to end up getting one this weekend,
and swapping back in forth between it and the chair that I’ve grown to hate.
An email to Tom, my boss.
Subject: "Did you do this as well?"
Body: "There are children running around everywhere. Did I enter the wrong building or is this, in fact, Bring Your Distraction to Work Day? I thought it was the latter, so I brought my brain today."
The quote for today took place right here in the office, and is care of the child in the cube behind me.
"Mom, I'm moving," and then quitely uttering, "woooh."
By the way, I don't think it's good that I just saw another child walking down the hall with a squirtgun. No, that's bad, and I'm sure to be hearing someone screaming in a moment...yep, there it is.
This is an office and not the set of some NBC sitcom, I swear.
I want Tiger right now!
Is it just me or was Jon Stewart really pissed off last night?
Me thinks so.
Watch it: Quicktime, Windows Media Player.
All students attending the Odessa, Texas high school will be required to take a Bible class.
What I'm not understanding here is how these people can claim that what their doing is 'American' but to have me suggest that isn't is 'UnAmerican' even 'Anti-American.' Do these people own books? Do they know anything about the history of the United States? Puritans came here to flee religious oppression, and they included a separation of church of state for that very reason. They didn't want to repeat what happened in England. The church gains control in the government and forces it’s doctrines on others. Yeah, that didn’t work all to well. I seem to recall a few uprisings, people getting really pissed off about having their religious freedoms ignored. I guess the people of Odessa just 'plum forgot' about that whole thing. We came here to get away from Christian zealots? Not us. We came here to force our religious doctrines on others because we're the majority. That's just ridiculous. Oh, and it’s unconstitutional.
Actually, I think the best part of the article resides in this statement, ‘How can students understand Leonardo da Vinci's 'Last Supper' or Handel's 'Messiah' if they don't understand the reference from which they came?’ Yeah, that's the reason you're doing this, so that kids can understand references in art, and not at all to force kids to learn about Christianity. You've got to be kidding me.
This has to be the greatest website in all creation; Puppybreak.
Screw cats.
Rule #7 of Proper Urinal Etiquette:
Striking up a conversation with the guy peeing next to you is okay if you know him. If not, that’s inappropriate.
There were so many options for titles for this post that I decided to list most of them.
Bring your distraction to work day
Come back here with my stapler
Mommy's going to turn Barney down now
Look! I colored on your desk
Shut up for mommy
and Hither to the twitching eye
Yeah, so, today is Bring Your Kid to Work Day. That's right, it's not Bring Your Child it's Bring Your Kid. Damn right. My goal for the day is to torment parents by frightening their children to the best of my abilities. Telling children that I'm the toe nail monster and I've come for their toe nails, you bet! Staring, laughing inappropriately and skipping at random times are a must. And, of course, pointing at a child and running my indez finger across my neck.
Some call me sick, others call me gifted, and still others wonder what my parents did to deserve such a child.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Thank you Fancy Robot for bringing this to my attention.
Guess What --
I would have loved for this article to have ended with DeLay saying, "I, I, I drive a Dodge Stratus!"
I had to post this:
This is Foundphotos, a website with a limitless supply of photos that this guy has compiled. If you are sharing your C: drive, he will find you and post your photos. Be warned.
That's all I can muster right now. I have so much to finish today, it's craziness in Foxhole, the name of my cube. Tomorrow I will have time to write and read and love!
Well after half of all Americas stopped believing that there ever were WMDs and that the President lied, they have officially stopped looking for them.
Thanks guys! You're keeping us safe from the imaginary bombs and the mustard gas that was really just mustard.
Stupid blogger not working all day. I've tried to post, I swear, but blogger has been my deterrent.
Anyway, I have a lot of work today, so I'm not going to be able to post a lot. Let's see what I can pump out before I have to come back to this patient inform project.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Boxseats for the Rangers/Mariners game tonight...again? Yes, please.
Payam and Layla need to get married right the hell now!
I'll post some pictures after the game. Woo!
Rule #6 of Proper Urinal Etiquette:
Never look the guy in the urinal next to you in the eyes for more than a second. That's just gross.
Randomness Resides Before Me
I’ve begun to miss the psuedo-cemented schedule that school created. You go to school
from August to December, take a break for a month and return from January to May. Then you get a giant summer vacation. I really took that for granted. If you wanted to miss a day of class to gain back all the sleep you’ve missed out on because of studying and extra-curricular activities, you can and you won’t miss much. Here, I missed a day a month ago because I was sick and had to work overtime the day I got back to get caught up on the work I didn’t complete on the day I missed. Them’s the breaks. Accept them and move on.
There was so much time off back then, and all we wanted was more time off. “Man, I
really need this Spring Break to happen right now. I’m burnt out.” But we weren’t burnt out, we just weren’t aware of what burnt out meant. We were never sure what it meant to work over fifty hours in a week and work just about every weekday of the year except for a week for winter holidays and a singular weeks long vacation that you’re able to take. Now I look at my calendar and I realize that the only vacation time I’m taking the next four months will be flying in two weeks to Chicago for my sister’s graduation and flying out to Minnesota in June for my sister’s wedding, and those take place over a weekend. That’s life though. It happens, and you accept it and move on.
We all know that it’s coming. It’s just a matter of recognizing it and either accepting
or running.
Monday, April 25, 2005
CBS loves Dave Chappelle.
"He walked out of the room after the meeting, and he accused the network of racism. 'It was racist. Look, I don't think these people sit around their house and call black people 'n-----s' and all this kind of thing,' says Chappelle. 'But the idea that, unless I have white people around me on my show, that it's unwatchable or doesn't have a universal appeal, is racist. You know? They don't make them put black people on 'Friends.' Or they don't make them put black people on 'Seinfeld.' But all of a sudden I get in the room, and it's like, 'Where's all the white people?'"
Where are the Persians factoring in on this?
Why is our President such a dick when speaking to a reporter for the people and a saint when speaking about and with the Prince of Saudi Arabia? In the words of Dave Chappelle, "Gotta get that oil (cough, cough, cough)."
"Kiss me like you want all my oil."
Not what I'd like to be hearing today. What did I say about the Dark Ages returning? Yeah, if this isn't a sign of things to come, I don't know what is. If you know students at Trinity International University in Deerfield, IL, 'inform them' that what they're doing isn't very Christian. Last time I checked Christ’s teachings were of acceptance and fellowship. I guess to these students it meant fellowship as long as your white, Christian and dating a white person. And please, don't tell me this isn't a Christian issue. This is a Christian University with students who are Christians.
Since Microsoft has decided to abandon all minorities I thought it might be time to bring up a a better option for surfing the web. Also, feel free to check out the links below for stories about Microsoft's stupidity.
An op-ed piece and a piece about minorities wanting their award back.
An op-ed piece and a piece about minorities wanting their award back.
"You do it to yourself, you do."
I’m not sure what to write. Feeling a bit bi-polar today. Not enough sleep, kind of
depressed, thinking about the past and what angers me the most. These are all things that I’ve become relatively used to, and I had coped with them. Only, a few times a month, generally very briefly, do I begin to think about these things again. I start off small, with something that bothers me, it snowballs by thinking about something worse, and end up laying on the ground, covered in bad memories and anger about things that I can’t or don’t know how to change.
The truth is no matter how much you wish for something to change, most of the time, it
doesn’t. Things so often stay the same. They look you in the eyes and appear as though they want something different. Smile big for the camera and present themselves in a store front as someone who wants things to be different. Then they realize that they aren’t ready or willing to move out of their comfort zone. Not interested in what’s beyond what is directly in front of their face. We all do that a bit, some more than others. I do. I did it moving down here.
And I didn’t move down here for anyone. I moved because I was jobless and depressed.
Things were working and I needed to shake myself out. This position presented itself to me, and bam. It seemed like a great idea, and it was. I’m happy here, far more happy then I was when I lived up near Chicago. And that’s not meant as a disparaging statement about the friends or family I have up there. It just wasn’t working for me. I needed to refresh, and I got that here. It’s just too bad that so many people believed that I did it to spite them, or to be mean to them in any way. After all, it’s all about other people and never supposed to be about you. I may have a history of that, but I needed to take the advice that people had been offering me for the past ten years, ‘do something for yourself, make yourself happy.’ I did that, and I’m in Texas now. If you can’t get over the fact that this isn’t about you, I’m sorry, but don’t go turning this around into some kind of blame fest. I never asked you to get angry with your parents. I didn’t tell you to yell at them or go against what they thought was best. You did that on your own. You did it because you wanted to do something for you. Now you’re doing something for them again, and you don’t sound happy. You sound how I feel right now. Ironic, right?
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Stupid quote of the day!
When talking about Mike Fontenot Jim Hendry was quoted saying, "We certainly think a lot more of him now then when we first got him."
Really? Because being a number one draft pick wasn't enough, or winning several awards while coming up in the Orioles farm system? Not even the advice of your scouts saying that the kid can play. Hmm.
Friday, April 22, 2005
I had a heart attack when I read this. Is it bad that I'm doing drive by posting? I'm busy, damnit!
I had no idea that I could dislike slime mold beetles as much as I do.
Can you say 'ouch.'
"Scientists have ensured that President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will be oozing through history for centuries to come. Entomologists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller have named three new species of slime-mold beetles after Dubya, Dick and Rummy. The scientists claim it's a compliment ..."
Continued...
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what I write in this blog. What kinds of things I chose to
include in each post. And I’ve decided that all to many of them are completely trite and boring. Why am I spending so much time taking about the pomposity that is my boredom when there are far more interesting things to be presented. Or is that what I’ve been reduced to? Have I been so drained of passion for things that I just write whatever pops into my head without thinking about it at all before hand? The uninteresting things that vapor around, drifting just barely above the ground. These are the ‘important’ things to me, and that’s just plain said.
I suppose it’s normal for young people to believe that there’s something grander
waiting out there in the world for them, and I suppose I haven’t quite figured out what that is for me. That, or I’m just too stupid to see that what I’m doing right now is making a difference. A more spread out and timed change then I could possibly comprehend. The idea is sobering, but doesn’t really bring me any answers. I suppose I’m just here, eyes drooping, thinking about getting some work done, and wishing that I could be doing something truly meaningful somewhere else.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
There’s a lot of work to get done today, and I’ve been franticly trying to get all of it done. Maybe I’ll have something to post later.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Pitch counts, pitchers and the correct approach. In my opinion.
Fewer shots? I'm comfortable with that. Are you?
I guess today’s theme is bigotry
I found this article upon reading one my favorite blogs this morning, and nearly threw
up. My question centers around how it is that these kids aren’t thrown out of the school. Sensitivity classes don’t address the actual problem. Sensitivity classes don’t quell hatred they suppress those viewpoints. And suppressing only leads to violent outbursts. The kids need to learn tolerancy, not sensitivity. The idea is to teach the kids that people have different beliefs and they have every right to follow those beliefs not to tell them that it’s bad to make insensitive comments about Jews, it’s just insensitive. That’s not enough.
In the workplace, if you were to make a racist or religiously bigoted comment you can
be fired, and for good reason. Those kinds of comments have no place in the workplace or in the class room, and it’s a shame that this school isn’t being more strict in trying to resolve the problem instead of putting a bed sheet over it.
Can the police run the plates on this guy, just as a precaution.
I'm serious.
The new racism/Crusades. What happens when Christian groups decide they need to attack Muslims and 'take Israel back for Jesus'? It was stupid in the Middle Ages and it'll be stupid again. We're in a forced cyclical history. Repeat your mistakes because they weren’t really mistakes, they were missexecuted.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Dumb that down a little
Happiness is an extended conversation with a point
Since I’ve been here I haven’t been all that challenged by much. People or otherwise.
I’ve been annoyed, pissed off, stupefied and confused but never actually challenged. I’m still looking for that friend out here who will wet my intellectual whistle. That sounds so arrogant of me, I know, but I’m serious. I present myself in certain ways to make it easier for the person I’m speaking with to feel comfortable. It’s one of those necessary adjustments that I make in conversation so as not to insult people. Again, it sounds like I’m engrossingly pompous, but I’m being serious. And this is not to say that I’m more intelligent than all my friends either, or even that I am more intelligent than the situations that have been presented before me. Instead, I would suggest that the situation stems from the different types of intelligences that present themselves in the world. My skills are of a certain ilk and others are specific to them.
Currently, and for the past hour, I’ve been carrying on a conversation via email with a
woman here at the office. The conversation has been me making jokes, her laughing and offering up more fuel for me to joke. I enjoy the situation as I’m able to turn things around and quip it up with someone, but I’m getting little more than fuel in return. Sometimes, I like to be insulted and prodded. It’s a bit sick, some might say, but never-the-less the truth. I enjoy a good jab just as I enjoy giving a good jab. It’s another reason why sometimes I become down on myself in certain situations. Remaining unchallenged leaves me unmotivated and depressed, and I have yet to find an outlet where I’m constantly able to challenge myself.
The most ironic and stupid on my part thing is that I never become amazing at anything
that I attempt, so I become a pseudo-jack of some trades. But, like I said, I get bored, and can never retain concentration for long enough to become very good at any one thing. Blarg. That’s enough out of me for the day. Bye.
Intentionally or not, he's still punished.
Umm, all right. When I saw the footage it certainly looked like the dude was trying to get out of the way and spilled his beer out of sheer reaction not spite. This whole 'solve the rivalry for the children' thing is a bit ridiculous. A fan reaches for a ball and Sheffield takes it the wrong way. Anyone who says that we should just be happy that he didn't hit the guy is stupid. These are entertainers, they need to grow up. These are not 'the streets', these guys aren’t hired thugs and games are not taking place in smoked out bars. These are sports teams playing in sports stadiums in front of fans. People drop or throw things on the field all the time and no one has a problem with that, but when a guy reaches for a ball and a player with 'roid rage' thinks he's going after him he has the right to hit him. That's just plain stupid.
Sheffield said, "If you're out on the street, I guarantee that same guy doesn't put his hands on me. So why should we be penalized for a situation like that because we're on a baseball field?" Why? Because you're an adult playing a sport in front of millions of people. If someone touches you, you deal with it you arrogant ponce. You don’t justify the thought of hitting someone by saying that if we were in the streets I would have kicked his ass. Congratulations, now the fans hate you not only because you were indicted for steroid use but also because you think you should able to hit people because they touch you at the ballpark. Grow up, you’re an entertainer, it’s part of the job, and the guy was not trying to hit you.
I bring the blasphemy
Who wants New Testament action figures? I know I don’t.
Wait, they speak! Now I’m just enraged. When did they discover that Jesus had brown hair, a beard and blue eyes? Where did that come up?
Monday, April 18, 2005
And this is me whining
I should be in Palo Alto, CA right now for a conference, but that didn't happen. Something about the world ending if I went. Fantastic.
I’m sitting here writing up a walk through for HitBox for the managing editors and listening to ‘New Brad’ by Volcano, I’m Still Excited!!. The managing editors aren't too bright so I’m having to dumb down the language like…well, like woah. 'New Brad' has become my new anthem. Only my name is David, and not Brad. Contrary to popular disbelief. That is all.
So, this is a really cool article I just read about films and movies as an looking glass into our collective unconsciousness. Pretty neat.
The Contemporary
On Friday I received a bit of a wake up call. It wasn’t something that requires getting
into or elaborating on any more. Just a situation that was a long time coming, that I needed. Now, I’m staring at this screen as the words appear with every tap by my fingers, and I’m finding myself relatively at ease with each word. They are what they are, after all. They present themselves on the page or screen as I, the writer, intended. Although often misconstrued, each word is planned in advance and presented the way the writer wants it to be presented, and if you take the time, as a reader, to slip into the writers skin and look at the piece in the way the author did you create some interesting insight. You’re able to avail yourself of all the guessing that so many people subscribe. As they use their fingers to guide their eyes across the page and down trying to elaborate on what they believe they understand.
I’ve tried that, and the truth of the matter is that act is nearly impossible. Finding
your way into the writer’s eye is more difficult than dining on the head of a needle or standing on the wing of a moving 747. How can anyone claim to understand another when so often we fool ourselves into believing that we in any way truly know ourselves? It’s a dichotomy that people tell me that they understand and operate within but they’re wrong. They claim to be able to look at something that someone has produced and understand full who that person is and what that person has and will do. But how is that possible? How can anyone make such an arrogant claim without any kind of pollster or roadway guide? Anyone can claim to have that ability, but no one truly ever knows. We try, we take classes and read books about people and tendencies but we find ourselves dancing in a fog of the impossible. And to that aim, I had also.
There was a bit of time where I believed that I knew, but I was wrong. I didn’t. And
sometimes having the volcano explode and spew all it has onto you is the only way to rid yourself of the belief that you know anything. That’s where I am right now. Dumbfound but seeing a bit more clearly. Ironically equipped with new glasses but truly blind. I’m sorry that I thought I knew more than I’m capable of knowing. I’m sure I’ll never be able to have you understand how badly it makes me feel to know that my sheer stupidity lead you down the path you took. But I counter that by saying it wasn’t a malicious act, nothing premeditated or launched with malice or contempt. It was all just unknown blindness and a gift for stupidity that make me who I am. For that I apologize.
Friday, April 15, 2005
I really need for people to realize the reason for a separation of church and state was included in the Constitution because there is more than one religion in the U.S. It’s not a weakness; it has not made God angry with us. If anything I couldn’t imagine God being angry that his name be attached to every other bill and law brought up. It makes sense for the separation to be put in place, and it should remain there.
If we’re against Muslim theocracies then how are we not against Christian theocracies? It makes not sense. We made up our minds back when we started this country, and it remains poignant today.
My first question would be, 'Why are you accepting emails and text messages from people you don't know in the first place?" followed by, "you dumbie."
Sports Night…how I miss thee
I am missing the undeniable wit that was Sports Night. And while The West Wing
utilizes a verily similar wit, similar cast and use of spitfire dialogue it's just not the same. Both were created by Aaron Sorkin and he wrote many of the best episodes, but they exist on completely different planes. There’s something far too serious about the job the president does in contrast to the antics and general light-heartedness of being a sports anchor. Sports Night used jabs and constant one-liners to describe the life of working for a show on a third tier sports network and West Wing presents the dance of state affairs, personal strife and friendship being the elected official for an entire country. Light-hearted and comical versus heavy and exaggeratedly honest. I pick the light-hearted and comical. What can I say, hearing about issues in Bosnia as filtered through a television show just doesn’t appeal to me as much as two guys walking around in their underwear after being pranked or drunk co-workers dancing in an empty office to ‘Boogie Shoes.’
I can't believe that I so longingly miss a television show. I need to read more.
Apparently, Gary Sheffield almost hit a fan last night at Fenway. He says that the fan punched him in the mouth, Sheffield then threw his hands up and threw the ball into the infield. The problem I have is that, upon looking at the play back, it didn’t look like anyone hit Sheffield at all. It looked like the fan was trying to grab the ball and just so happened to smack Sheffield. It looked inadvertent. It looked like a drunk fan was trying to pull a triple off Veritek into the crowd and bring it home as a souvenir. It was crowd interference, but I doubt the fan wanted to “sock Sheffield in the mouth.”
Check out this article.
And then this came out.
When the Bible isn’t good enough, perfect humans step in
Think heathens abound at your daughter's school? Then you should get her a subscription to Teen Virtue. That's right! Teen Virtue the magazine that tells your kids what to do.
I'm confused, isn't the Bible supposed to be the source for all moral clarity, and not a
magazine by people who believe that they know everything. When did we become some perfect? When did God come down and tell us that we’re doing everything right, and nothings wrong? It hasn’t happened because things aren’t wonderful! Things aren’t perfect. Religion is supposed to present answers to all questions. If you’re wondering what you should do regarding your kids, read the Bible. If your kids are questioning what they should do about the kids who are getting pregnant they should read the Bible. If you want your kids to continue to strive toward “good Christian values” then you should get them involved in the community. Giving them a magazine and telling them to read it will do nothing. Consultation about things gives people a better understanding not a magazine telling them what to do. The last thing we need is a group of people who believe they are the moral police telling your kids what is right and wrong and what fashions Jesus would have approved for this summer. How do they know “What Jesus Would Do”? They don’t.
My favorite quote from this article is, “Courtney chose the book's magazine-style
format in the hopes of encouraging Christian girls to bring it to school with them and share it with their non-Christian friends.” Of course, don’t give non-Christians anything with substance and meaning. Give them a magazine loosely based on “Christian values”. Great idea. Wonder why so many Christians no so little about their own religion. This is why.
The following is an email I sent to Matthew regarding why I can love the Rangers, Orioles and Cubs equally
I am a sports fan. I enjoy watching and playing sports. Due to this, I am encouraged to
view the player more than the team unless I am playing for that team. I like to watch pitchers. Roy Halladay, Hudson, Zito, Wakefield they’re all great pitchers with unique styles, and I enjoy watching those guys pitch. Therefore, I don’t see any problem with watching a baseball game and rooting for a team based on who is playing in that game. Halladay pitched last night here in Arlington, and I rooted for him but also the Rangers. See, it’s an issue of enjoying the game too much, and focusing more on that and less on the specific. Grander over the small. I see no problem with that.
As it stands, I was born in Texas and I rooted for Nolan Ryan. He was and will probably
forever be my favorite baseball player simply because of his form and demeanor on the mound. The guy struck you out even before you walked into the box, and that amazed me. He made me pull for the Rangers. He was there, so I rooted for them. My father was born in Maryland. He and his entire family rooted for the Orioles because they were born there and because of their history. My uncle mowed Jim Palmer’s lawn, when we went to visit my grandfather would take us on tours of famous ballplayers homes. Cal Ripkin Jr. was the star at the time, and I loved to watch him play. Due to that, I rooted for him and the Orioles. Lastly, I moved to Chicago, and lived there for over 15 years of my life. While there I got swept up into the mystic that was and is Cubs baseball. The great ballplayers, the stadium, the history. It all amazed me and I became a fan.
Now, I never lost my love for either one of those teams. I watch them all equally, and
have every right to enjoy, root and sit and watch all three teams based on what I just explained. What really matters is my love for the game, it doesn’t really matter that I’ve chosen three teams to root for. It just matters that I’m rooting, going to games and am infatuated with baseball. I am a fan of baseball in the grander outlook, but I’m also a Rangers, Orioles and Cubs fan based on the events in my life and upbringing.
Can’t you just be happy that I hate the Yankees? God, I hate the Yankees.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Rambulation
And further boredom sets in, as my ass gets numb. I’ve visited my regular sites for the
day several times over. Even added a few more to my repertoire. Drank water. Listened to music. Photoshopped Vafa’s face onto three separate bodies; my favorite is the ninja. These new contacts are bothering me, I feels like there’s something in them or that I’m severely allergic to something. That itching, burning, tearing up has remained in my ocular cavities all day. It’s what happens when while I’m here, all day long. I suppose the best course of action would be to go to a doctor and have it checked out along with my diabetes; haven’t had a regular check with for months, not good. The only issue is money; I don’t have it. After spending what little I had on glasses and soon more on contacts I’m not sure that I’ll have enough to eat, live, drive and go to the doctor, so I’m trying to bide my time. Trying to take care of myself as best I can, except for when I run out of insulin because these pen needles that I got suck like today, I’m five units low right now. It’s not a great feeling, but it’s one I’ll have to live with for the time being. As I’m sitting here, doing nothing for the next few hours. Perhaps I’ll just leave early again, at around four to ensure that I’m able to get my taxes done tonight and relax a bit before the baseball game. I suppose that just made up my mind for me.
I opened up a Xanga account. It will mirror almost every post to this site, save a few. The primary reason is I’m trying to allow my tentacles to wriggle their ways into other interfaces. This will allow more people to read what I’m writing and perhaps produce some word-of-mouth stuff. You know.
That’s it for now, still really bored. Nothing to do, I think I’ll Photoshop Vafa’s face onto a woman’s body’s.
Caution: This is the most horrible thing I have ever said.
Next week on 'Who gives a damn'
I was kind of hoping for an abortion. Britney, please! Think of the children!
Horrible, but you know you agree with me.
"'Oprah would be an amazing mother,' said McLeod." Yeah, if the baby wasn't as cute as she expected I'm sure she could fire him/her and hire on a cuter replacement.
For the second day no one is here, and I have no work to complete. I’ve sent in spreadsheets for every gap we’ve discovered for each of our journals online, edited the main site to display the new statements, edited the main library gear on the my.american.heart site and practiced the imputing of MOCs into the inactive BenchPress database. If that sounds like gibberish, it’s understandable. Oh well, what’s in the news today?
New glasses mean more sandwiches that I need to make
My eyes hurt a bit still
At my visit to the eye doctor, last night, I was told that my eyes are producing new
veins in my eyes to draw in oxygen. That’s a bad thing. Apparently, the new growth of veins in the eye cavity can cause corneal damage and apply pressure throughout the eye. Yeah! So, I’ve been asked to wear glasses more often, and purchase the most expensive contacts on the market to ensure the maximum blood flow and oxygen intake for my eyes. I told the doctor that I hadn’t been too concerned with my eye’s oxygen intake, and had been focusing on my lungs intake of oxygen. She just stared at me. Yeah, sorry.
Regardless, I had to shuffle my feet, after paying over $100 for the eye exam, over into
Pearle Vision to look at glasses. The idea that I’ll be wearing glasses more doesn’t bother me; it frightens me after the incident with my grandmother nearly destroying my sunglasses with the shear movement of a hug. She went to hug me and her arm end up in my face, clawing my sunglasses off and tossing them behind me. My friends who were there to witness this event agreed that it was utterly impossible and “the strangest thing they’ve ever seen.” I’d have to agree. I have no idea how it happened. Like I said I have problems with glasses; I tend to break them. Actually, I think it has more to do with others causing damage to my glasses instead of me actually doing anything to them. I don’t sit on them, or drop them very often. Instead, people just really enjoy knocking them off my face (Note: It’s a lot easier to blame this issue on other people then to look at the times where I may have done damage to my former glasses by my own person.) and letting them crash to the floor to be stepped on by a dog or something.
This isn’t the first time I had to make a decision to switch back to glasses, but I didn’t
want to repeat the cumbersome nature of my last purchase, thick, black plastic rimmed jobbies that made me look like I would enjoy doing your taxes or compiling a spread sheet of marketing numbers for the director of the company I work for. No, that would not happen this time. This time I would take my time examining all my options; too bad there weren’t too many. As I stood there with the sales person I explained that I wanted wire frames. I learned from my past mistakes, right? Hell no. After a few pairs of squared off, wire frames the sales person suggests the plastic frames. She says they’re “in style.” Now, I’ve never concerned myself with these trend situations. I’m more interested in not accenting the two giant bushes of hair above my eyes then what glasses will make the best fashion statement. Yet, she pulled a pair off the wall, I tried them on and liked them. With thin, wire earpieces and a plastic front with reasonable thickness they didn’t look bad. Except for the confusion that this will cause as people look at me and wonder if my eyebrows begin below the glasses line, I’m fine with the glasses.
As it stands right now I’m wearing a pair of contacts, the most expensive soft lenses on
the planet with an oxygen intake level of 140 (Whatever that means. I mean, it’s a higher number, but what does 140 really signify?), that the doctor handed me on my way out along with some solution and a futuristic carrying case (Wow, is this thing weird looking.). They feel fine, but my eyes feel a bit irritated; which isn’t exactly any different than the way they’ve felt for the past few months, bust still. I’m optimistic about my new glasses, contacts and the impending debt I will be entrenched in after I receive the bill for both the glasses and contacts – probably well over $500. Umm, does anyone want to buy a kidney? Please?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Forgot to mention this a while back. Hooray for my favorite show on television!
They finally installed Photoshop onto my computer here at work. I will now begin manipulating pictures as I see fit. If you’re my friend, you will be manipulated. Oh yes.
Day of Silence Bashed
I disagree with homosexuality. I don't think it's right, I do think that it's wrong. I do
not, however, promote hate-crimes or the harassment of gay people. This is because of my religious beliefs; however, it is wrong to denigrate a people for any reason whatsoever. Many Christians' belief that you can chaste the gay right out of people is fundamentally flawed. Shouldn't you be trying to allow gays to recognize the other way of life, and show them that, perhaps, this way work out a little better? Sounds like I'm dancing around the topic, sure, but really it's no one's decision to help these people save the person and God. I've never understood how Christians believe they're just in committing hateful acts against gays as it's only making things worse.
A perfect example of this is the newly created "Day of Truth", an arrogant and mislead
attempt to quell homosexuality by telling them that they're wrong and those practicing this "Day of Truth" are right. Of course! Ignorance will solve everything! As well, insulting the way they live will make them sympathetic to your beliefs. Right? WRONG! That's wrong. Remember how horrible the Spanish Inquisition was? That period in time when the church arrested thousands of non-Christians in an attempt to force them to "convert." Some of the greatest atrocities ever witnessed took place there. Thousands of Jews and Muslims were needlessly slaughtered because the Catholics were "right." Of course they were right. God hates non-Christians, he even said it in the Bible. You know, in that passage that doesn't exist. Yeah, that one. It's right there. All you have to do is open your eyes and read it. Maybe it is there, and only Christians can read it. A sort of invisible ink for those who are "right". That's just insane.
Since 1996, gay groups began the “Day of Silence” in an attempt to raise awareness of
strife against gays everywhere. The event wasn’t created to turn people gay, force people to become gay or even to celebrate homosexual behavior. Instead, it was “a tactic for drawing attention to the isolation and harassment experienced by many gay students”. The goal was to get other students to recognize that any hateful action you take is wrong. And those students are right! Hateful, malicious actions are wrong. Yet, the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal group disagrees. They believe that the youth are being brainwashed by gays.
To combat the evil gay armies, like the Crusades (Yes, I’m aware that these are totally
different events as the Crusades were created to stop Muslims from settling in, what is now, Israel, and in no way can this be compared to the thousands killed during the Crusades; I used it for dramatic effect, you know.), the Alliance Defense Fund created the “Day of Truth”. Now, a “Day of Truth” representative made this comment, “Johnson said the event is meant to be ‘peaceful and respectful,’ but made clear it is motivated by belief that homosexuality is wrong. ‘You can call it sinful or destructive — ultimately it’s both,’ he said.” Oh, telling students that being gay is sinful and destructive should quell any violent behavior that stems from this. Yeah, right! Instead, this will cause a huge backlash in the gay community. You think you’re frightened of gay people now, just wait.
Thanks Alliance Defense Fund, you’ve screwed it up for the people who were trying to
help gays, those who are participating in the Day of Silence, instead of shaming them straight like y’all have proposed. And we all know how well that worked during the Spanish Inquisition and with the mass conversions of Pagans. Oh, wait, you lied to the Pagans and adapted their beliefs into your own creating a religion of blasphemy. My fault.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
I can't wait any longer. BASEBALL!
P.S. - We lost 13-8. High scoring game though, big come back in the 8th, two homers.
Payam's lady friend called to tell me that she got us four free tickets to the Rangers game tonight! WEE!
This is Chris Young. He will be killing the Angels tonight. Booyah.
Second game of the season! I'll be there! My first Rangers game! And I have great seats! DAVID IS EXCITED! I'm glad I bought a cap last night.
Music File Sharing Issues Have Grown
Things are starting to get serious in the global fight of music piracy. Check out the story.
John Bolton has a rough day ahead of him.
Darn, and he's such a great candidate for ambassador to the UN after insulting them and stating that he will "Strengthening UN institutions, Stemming the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, Supporting the global war on terror, Addressing humanitarian crises." Oh man, what a relief. An American man, who is really good friends with President Bush and thinks that he can do no wrong is going to address "humanitarian crises". Fantastic. We’ll also be nominating white supremacists to take care of racial issues and wolves to tend to the sheep. Will he be addressing issues at American internment camps? Probably not. That would only insult the greatness of the U.S. The U.S. who is trying to send a man to be ambassador to make the U.N. do whatever we want. That's not biased, that's just wrong.
Monday, April 11, 2005
I will be on 'Hands Down' tonight with Vafa, Raquel and Larry from 7 to 9. Listen and enjoy the rock.
Jim Caple is right!
There is this overwhelming belief in New York that it's been too long since they've won a World Series. They’ve even likened it to a draught; a draught that has only lasted a few years but a draught non-the-less. After all, the Yankees are America’s team, right. They’re supposed to embody the American ethic and winning spirit. Well, first, how is going out and buying players the American ethic, and, second, why do we have any other team at all? If the Yankees are America’s team, why should there be any other teams in baseball. Hey, New York, get over it. Arizona, Florida, Anaheim and Boston are the home to the most recent winners of it all, and not you. Deal with it.
And more over, there are teams who haven’t even been to the World Series, ever. Teams who actually have the right to complain about their draught. Read the article.
Virtual Reality and then some
Sony is working on the technology to create a video game that sends data directly to the
brain by "firing pulses of ultrasound" at brain neurons. Yes, it is being compared to The Matrix. Yes, this is weird.
Currently in the theory faze, Sony has made it public knowledge that they are investing
tons in this new form of gaming. The idea is that the pulses reorient neurons and create realistic settings, similar to virtual realty, but have the environment exist in your head. No longer will you have to pretend that the game your in is a reality, it will really be happening in your head. Sights and smells would give way to touch and probably taste, as the environment will be designed to screw with your brain patterns. No, this isn't something involving some weird surgery (yet); however, it stills seems a bit strange to me. I mean, I'm already dumb as hell, I don't need ultrasound pulses to manipulate my brain patterns more.
This is cool, but really quite frightening. I'm foreseeing some practical applications as a
virtual simulator with some major issues developing around kids not wanting to stop the "experience". "Live in your world, play in ours" was the slogan Sony was using a few years ago. I guess they're trying to alter that line a bit in the future, "live in our world, play in our world," die of starvation because of your inability to separate fantasy from reality. I have that problem as it is, I don’t need a video game to further the issue. Kind of nihilistic, sorry, but these things could become a reality, and that’s frightening.
On Friday I went home around eleven in the morning after a rough morning. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, and Heather told me to leave. Ended up getting home at noon and falling asleep until seven that night. I then woke up, hung out with P for a few hours and passed out again. It was a weird couple of days.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Thursday, April 07, 2005
An email of my progress to my former employer, Mike. I thought it summed things up or something.
Mike,
Interestingly enough, I just received your email. Apple’s .Mac service hasn’t been working for me at all for over a month now. It’s kind of driving me crazy. Anyway, hello!
Regarding the phone issue, I can’t synch the Blackberry up to my Mac, that I know of, but I’m hoping that they create a patch soon. I’ve actually been having issues with my phone since I moved down here and had to have a new one sent out to me. This new phone is doing the same thing, and I’ll probably have to send it back for a new one. So, my stock in Blackberry’s has dropped dramatically. I don’t know much about the Treo 650, but I’m guessing that it is far more likely to be able to synch with the Mac. It uses Palm OS 5.4 which can be used with Macs, I think.
I suppose I’m settled now, still a lot of boxes full of books and CDs laying about or stacked up in my closet. Other than that I really enjoy it here. The morning drive can be a bit of a bitch, taking up to an hour and half to get from my front door to work, but I’ve figured out traffic patterns. That, and I’m going about 85 weaving through traffic. Sounds like I’m a madman or a bad driver, but, seriously, it’s the only way I can make it here in the mornings in under an hour.
The AHA is pretty rad. Things are night and day compared to the AAP. All publishing is taking place in Baltimore by people with whom bane can be the only word to describe my feelings towards. We’ve had to call them about so many screw-ups over the past two months that I’m beginning to question leaving AHA and working there. Just to ensure that the job is done properly.
Anyway, I’m off to construct some endorsement pages and prepare some reports for the fast approaching SPC conference. If you could pass a hello to everyone for me I would appreciate it. Other than that, I hope everything is going well in Chicago.
Take care,
David
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Thank you Matthew!
From CNN:
Some 200 world dignitaries are expected to attend Pope John Paul II's
funeral Friday. They include:
* President Bush and first lady Laura Bush
* Britain's Prince Charles
* British Prime Minister Tony Blair
* Former President Clinton
* Former President George H.W. Bush
* U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
* Taiwan President Chen Shui Bian
* Spain's King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia
* Spain's Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero
* Record label head/recording artist P. Diddy
* The Harlem Globetrotters
* Sylvester and Frank Stallone
* Abner and Irma Finkelstein of Benton Harbor, Mich.
* Paris Hilton
* Stunt performer "Super Dave" Osborne
* the Vatican's 1,000,000th papal mourner, and a friend of his/her choosing
* actor Abe Vigoda
* the College of Cardinals
* Over 100 additional Catholic cardinals
* The Arizona Cardinals
* The St. Louis Cardinals
* The Towson (Md.) High School show choir
* Disco Stu
* Actor Burt Reynolds
* the winner of the 1978 "Find the Pope In the Pizza" contest, sponsored by Father Guido Sarducci
* The Lower New Jersey Dramatic Ensemble cast of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
* "Hee Haw" star Roy Clark
and many, many more!
Matthew and I should never have conversations via email. Ever.
Example 1:
Matthew- Header| "By the way---" Body| "---Matt Hale is going to jail for 40 years. :)"
David- Header| "RE: By the way---" Body| "That’s not good enough."
Example 2:
Matthew- Header| "RE: It’s spreading." Body| "I’ll be honest, that smells like pure gasoline."
David- Header| "RE: RE: It's speading." Body| "Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island."
This is the life: no work for me to do, sitting here, watching the Red Sox beat the Yankees on my computer, listening to Minus the Bear. Sweet.
Last night I picked up my insulin and it cost $30. Last month it cost $120. I love insurance. I'm thinking about sending the company a fruit basket or a thank you goat.
Today will be a day of doing nothing. There have been no updates to make, and everyone is in a meeting. I’ve been told that when they break from said meeting they’ll be dropping by for me to demonstrate some stuff on HBX, but I’m not exactly sure when that is. Hopefully, I’ll have something to do after lunch. If not, I’ll just sit here and post like crazy. Fun!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Finally, the UN has started to put people on trial responsible for the Darfur atrocities. Don't mean to be a jerk, but about time.
I’m pretty exhausted today; yawning consistently, and eyes drooping below the poles.
Stayed up late talking on the phone. I don’t regret it at all. As a matter of fact, I feel much better after having the extended conversation. Made me feel at ease, normal. Like the whiskey crazy people feed babies while their teething that later results in abnormalities. But it’s less of an unconscious change; it’s far more literal than that. It’s good to know that someone out there cares; that they want to talk to you and miss you. I’m right there with them. It’s still weird knowing that I’ve entered this world. Yesterday I woke up and wanted to call in sick. I didn’t feel entirely well, but not entirely poorly either. It was just a lapse of that attitude you have in college. “I don’t have to go to class today, I went on Friday.” Payam’s done that a few times, and it’s starting to rub off on me in the wrong ways. It’s not his fault though, I’m sure he doesn’t have this evil plot to ensnare me in college-life’s vice-like grip. Just my own memory of how much I enjoyed the late nights, conversations and breakfasts at two in the p.m.
There’s really nothing wrong with that either. Speaking with Matthew, I’m sure I would
get the same reaction. It’s great to just relax and have things flow along a relatively determined river. Makes for less focus on certain things, and more on others. The things we all thought were so important, and really are. Sleep, fun, friends, interactions. These are the important attributes of life, they make things bearable.
With all this thinking about the past, and last night’s conversation about what could
have/should have been I get trapped. Then I around in the cube I’m seated in, and realize that there are more things in life than sleep, fun, friends and interactions. The things that many people find absolutely terrifying, and I find enjoyable…most of the time. I suppose I’ll just continue on with the day though. Feet on floor, fingers on keys, mind on numbers and stats. I just hope there aren’t too many brain abnormalities for all this work.
Think outside the box.
Does that data match our statistical numbers?
Uh huh, uh huh, right right right.
Everyone is in a meeting with one of our publishing editors, and I'm here at my desk
waiting for said meeting to conclude. I've prepared a few reports and a walk through so that he will better understand the new software we're using for statistical analysis. I'm sure he'll be confused. Ask lots of questions that I'll have no answers to. That’s how it goes though. It may be a better idea to brush up on my execu-speak and buzzword spouting. That way he’ll understand what I’m saying. Quite honestly, I have no idea how these people operate. They don’t listen to everything you have to say; they just latch on to the few, select words that pound them in the face. At which point they’ll say, “Right, right, right.” But really, they’ll have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ll try anyway though. Lacing my words with as much adjectives as possible to ensure that he understands what I’m saying instead of receiving the head nod ignorance of those who work for our Publisher.
Instead of having to deal with this bloke, I would prefer to sit down with one of the
younger editors and give them a real quick overview. Generally, they’ll have a better understanding of how the web interface works instead of just pushing buttons and hoping things don’t blow up, they may actually have an idea what to do. That helps. Knowing something. Yeah.
I'm not sure if I should be offended or laugh at this online handbook for Southern Baptists in an effort to convert and 'break the Baha'i Code'.
However, I do like this:
"One general strategy for interfaith evangelism is to affirm the principles of a non-Christian religion that correspond to Christian truths. There are many Baha'i beliefs and practices that correspond directly or indirectly to Christianity. It might be a helpful point of contact to acknowledge those similarities, but be careful not to make too much of them. For instance, it might be helpful to commend your Baha'i friends for their devotion to one God, though differently conceived. You might also commend them for their code of conduct, commitment to moral character, their emphasis on chaste monogamous marriages and their prohibition of homosexual behavior and consumption of alcohol and narcotics. There are several Baha'i principles that can also be affirmed by genuine Christianity. You may commend your Baha'i friends for promoting the fundamental equality of all humanity. You may commend them for their commitment to religious liberty and the universal freedom to investigate religious truth claims without coercion. You may commend your Baha'i friends for their belief that reason is not necessarily an enemy of religion, and certainly not an enemy of Christianity. You may also commend them for believing that a spiritual solution may solve the problem of poverty. Your Baha'i friends may also be commended for their commitment to universal education."
Gee, thanks! We do what we can. But I think the real question is, if you're praising our activities why do we need to be converted to Christianity? Thank you very much for the invite, but I'm very happy being a Baha'i.
Thought out before spoken
Then again, it's great to hear a Congressman take the side of sense, and point out
that soapboxing and prostulating about an issue will only cause more problems. Great points by Congressman Conyers.
The beginning of the collapse
I'll never understand the hypocrisy that lives in Washington. Since the Terri Schaivo
incident broke and Congress people and Senators were attempting to prevent the passing of Mrs. Schaivo there has been this air of insanity looming over Washington. Now, that insanity has turned into something a lot more visceral and impending. With comments by Senator John Cornyn it has become apparent that violence and bloodshed is necessary for the vindication of Mrs. Schaivo’s death. Really? Wow. I had no idea that Senators had that authority; to explain that the killing of judges for their rulings would be justified because a few people disagreed with them. Fantastic. Is this the Middle Ages where the church told its patrons that it would be ok to kill a few Muslim or non-believers? That it was all justified. How is this justified? Killing someone for disagreeing.
So, my question is this: what about the people who disagree with this Senator? Do we
have the authority to go out and kill him because of this disagreement? Is that how we’re going to handle things now? Martial law? Thing is, I really don’t like George W. Bush, so does that mean I would be justified in attempting to murder him simply because I disagree with his decisions? After all, he’s sent people to war to have them killed. It was as indirect as the judges who passed on their rulings on the Schaivo case. Hell no. None of that makes any sense. There are going to be disagreements every day, that doesn’t justify the murdering of people.
Point is this man’s comments are going to start a ripple effect that may just keeps
growing. If it’s ok to kill a judge for disagreeing with the a few Americans, what happens when traffic tickets go to court? Or murder victims? This only provides justification for the actions of crazy people, and that’s a problem. This guy needs to apologize, quickly to insure that violence doesn’t just break out, and our fingers will rightly be pointed squarely at him.
P.S. - Then this comes out. Hey, great idea, gather up your Christian 'soldiers' to take on the judges. Rally up the troops and storm the courthouses. Killing someone is fine as long as you're justified by some Senator who is obviously insane or clergy members. This is not going to end well at all.
Monday, April 04, 2005
I'm going to be on Vafa's radio show tonight! Weee! You should all listen. It's all online, afterall.
We'll be playing some Mars Volta; Weakerthans; Volcano, I'm Still Excited!!; Ryan's Hope and whatever else we feel like. Plus a lot of bantering back and forth.
It's an extravaganza!
Check it out here.
Pomposity and arrogance aren’t cultural traits to celebrate
So, yesterday at this picnic there was a long line of cars trying to leave all at once. As we looked forward, fifteen minutes into trying to leave, we noticed a giant limousine driving particularly slow in front of everyone with no one in front of it. It was truly amazing. Someone had a limo take them and pick them up from the picnic. How arrogant can these people get? I just don’t understand. Then they wonder why it is that so many people believe that their actions are terrible and act inappropriately. It’s true. They are those things, and then some.
You think that’s bad? No. Note: this picnic was at a huge park with a lake. HUGE PARK! Branches, wild-life. This woman was walking around in dress shoes. Pumps, even. And I heard her complaining about how annoyingly uneven the ground was. Really? Fancy that. It’s not like you’re walking on grass in heals with a circumference less than a dime. It’s completely insane.
Quite honestly, the worst part was hearing this one kid who just got his license a week before. He talked about how he got a car for his birthday. We asked what kind. He pointed out a brand new Mercedes something-or-rather. He boasted that he was pissed that they only had black, but was happy that he could get heated seats and a navigation system. I mean seriously. What ever happened to modesty? What happened to earning your way in life? That’s not how us Persians operate. No. “We” like to walk around like we’re better than everyone else, and wonder why it is that so many people dislike us. I’m wondering why…its not taking to long to do so.
Then realize that the last two manifestations came to the Middle East for a reason. There wasn’t a worse place on earth then there. At least the people have grown up, or something.
Another conference call
I’m on mute again, listening to the conversation regarding the changing of the guard for
our online interface. My eyes are dipping. Restlessness last night yielded this, and I’m not too happy. Wish I could have gone to sleep at a regular hour to wake up this morning refreshed. The voice on the phone describes the process of submitting articles and article development. I’m not sure exactly why I’m writing this. I really don’t have much else to say. Just tired, and bored. No real specific topic or subject matter I’d like to address. Instead, I just find myself rambling about the fact that I have nothing to do and describing that process. It’s all pretty pointless.
I’m done writing for now. Back to the boring conference call and reading articles on
various websites.
Conversational ethics
The weekend happened, and I’m left feeling pretty empty. A lot of things that still
aren’t done and others that I’m just too scared to take care of. Way too much sitting around, ignoring responsibility, ignoring the fact that I need to make some progress but can’t. It’s just a weird place to be, and I can’t say that I’m entirely all right with that. I viewed the single comment left on this page and I started to droop.
Yesterday Payam and I went to this giant picnic of Persians in a town called
‘The Colony.’ Neither of us were very impressed or entertained. I spent most of my time talking with Samira, Ladan’s sister. The whole time I kept thinking of other people and phone calls. I kept my sunglasses on the whole time too. To ensure that no one knew when my eyes dropped and welled up. I’m pretty sure no one suspected a thing. People seem to look at me and think that I’m fine even when I’m not. That I’m happy. It’s not true though, I’m not entirely happy. Too many thoughts of other people and regrets keeping me way too humble sometimes. It didn’t help that my blood sugar levels were going coastering, and I had no control over my own behavior at certain points.
On the drive back we took Ladan out to her car, parked a few miles away to avoid the
ten-dollar entrance fee to the massive park. She asked me what I thought of her sister for the third or forth time since I’ve known her. I said she was nice, and wasn’t lying. She then asked me if I wanted her number. I said no, and she became angry. There wasn’t much of a conversation after that. More like Ladan’s angry pestering of me. Her telling me that I should go out on a date with her sister because she thinks that we would make a “good couple.” I, again, tell her no thanks. The idea that I have to date someone because other people think it would work out confuses me. They tell you that they’re looking out for your best interests, and just want to make you happy. What makes them think that I’m unhappy or that I wouldn’t be happier without going out with someone else for a while? The idea is just lost on me. If you’re single, you have to be miserable. I just disagree.
I explain that its nothing against her sister or her, I’m just not interested. It’s hard to
be interested in anyone at all. The whole time Payam kept trying to get the attention off me and onto his attempts to spend more time with Layla, the girl who came to visit and grill out with us last week. Ladan would be distracted momentarily, and would dart back to the issue of me and her sister. She asked why I didn’t want to go out with her. Was it that I didn’t find her attractive? That she wasn’t my type? At that point, I wish I had put the sunglasses back on. Instead, I gave her a very simple explanation as to what has happened to me in the past few months. The woman who I loved and respected and wanted to marry, and the losing battle. She didn’t understand, Ladan. She kept asking why. As if this were some easy conversational station that everyone should be in tune with. It’s not. It’s hard to address for more than a few moments. But I was stuck and so was my mouth. I gave her a little, and shut up for the rest of the ride. I’m not entirely sure that I handled things the right way, but I wasn’t sure what to say or do. When you’re in mud, sometimes it’s hard to get out of your shoes and continue on barefoot. After all, I like my shoes…not really. I’m just stubborn, and dumb as hell.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
As the Pope passed away, I want to post this to explain some things real quickly. I am disappointed with all the news coverage surrounding his death and the appointment of a new Pope, but not at all by the celebrations of his life. The Pope was a wonderful human being who worked much harder than most to help the prospects of peace, respect and unity throughout the world. Taking responsibility for the Catholic Church of the past, meeting with religious leaders not to debate but to sit and enjoy each others company, denouncement of wars and his gift of teaching the message of peace and tolerance in a world of intolerance and hate. He was truly a gifted human being, and the world has lost a great leader and example for the catholics of the world.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Genocide is happening right now and we're worried about one woman who has been dead for years
Read about what is going on in the world, and realize that Terri Schiavo is one person
