Science News!

1. "But the lion was hungry! THE LION WAS HUNGRY!"

2. In a press conference scientists went into detail saying that this is proof that gorillas aren't "dumb as hell."

3. News Flash! This is news?

I hate racists, it's just that simple, and when I hear someone say anything racist it infuriates me to no end. But when I heard, "...you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down," that’s something completely different. This man should be locked up. The asshole.

Hi, my name is David.

I started this a long time ago, and realized just how much my style and mindset has changed.

Past tense:

Sweat through dress shirts; screen staring; bathroom texted messages; obsessive behaviors ignored; fascination turns to shoulder shrug; gallons of water; sighs in front of drum sets; exorbitant energy bills; health concerns; new co-worker/friends; cheering for the O’s while listening to the game on XM radio; glares at my roommate from a far; ignoring important responsibilities; my first ‘crash’ hospital visit; Every Time I Die; hibachi steaks; oblivious, head tilted listening to my boss’ demeaning speak; new car; quick, unnecessary movements; extended, boredom induced bathroom breaks; indecisiveness.

At the tone, the time will be:

Off season indifference; itchy beard; my job being taken away from me and given to a man who has no idea what he’s doing; general indifference; iPod Nano; “unnecessary” tears that form and disappear; bears; shaking; mlb gameday; through the screen staring; painful boredom; future tense thoughts; new job question marks; slightly homesick; podcast planning; having to train the guy who will be taking my job; moody, brooding behavior that no one sees; graphic design work done and launched; shoulder pains; robots; Bahá’í softball planning.

In later ticks of the watch my hope is:

Ease; calm; softball Saturdays; admiration turns into something meaningful; rethinking what it is to be a Bahá’í; mustached Halloween parties; happiness from a new source; Death Cab for Cutie; podcast blog and boredom destruction; visiting the family and friends; long phone conversations; Marjorie Fair; issues and responsibilities hammered out; sweaters; blankets; authoring rethought; Hum.

Ummm, today had an odd morning, I'll have to admit. Woke up at six, hit snooze, turned off alarm, woke up again at eight thirty-two and nearly crapped myself. So, I called in and told my boss that I was going to be working from home until eleven. Seemed to work out nicely, then I went back to sleep. Who knew?

"Don't knock me a teakettle."

A facinating review of a book about the history and use of Yiddish. What a zets.

I don't think anyone's happy that they found a naked portait of Terry Jones.

My horoscope for this week:

"Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
It's true that one should keep one's friends close and one's enemies closer, but first, one has to inspire strong feelings of one sort or another in one's fellow man.

Science News!

1. Chinese Panda version of HBO's popular series Real Sex to follow.

2. CEO Mark Homnick's speech started thusly, "M-A-R-S, Mars bitches." Red rocks!

3. Hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes...all natural disasters are the same in the eyes of those who predict hypothetical death counts.

4. Environmentalists are conflicted as to how to feel about "asshole ants."

5. A real genius has done a study that proves that people lie about washing their hands after using the bathroom? A genius!

6. What is this "lesson" you speak of?

7. Lady penguins dig danger, baby.

8. Don't waste your time working out to reduce your man-rack, just have a male-breast reduction.

Yes, I love Bobby Cox as well.

What...it said.

President still thinkin'

Since he can't seem to stop price gauging, gas prices went up ten cents last night for some reason, The New York Times reports that the President is suggesting that we drive less. For the country that was weaned on cars; maybe take some public transportation. You know, the public transportation that doesn't exist in most areas and sucks everywhere else. Yeah, that public transportation.

"Mr. Bush promised to dip further into the government's petroleum reserve, if necessary, and to continue relaxing environmental and transportation rules in an effort to get more gasoline flowing."

That's much better than dealing with the issue, right? Destroy the environment even more than we alread do and put stress on the worst public transportation system on the planet.

In another genius stroke the President suggested that to conserve bullets gangs and War Lords in Iraq should shoot people less.

I feel very off today. Actually, for the past couple days I have. Grammar, spelling and speech are all quite a bit off. Maybe it's a lack of sleep...guhh.

Rita’s over. Houston and Galveston were hit pretty hard, but DFW area wasn’t affected save some circling clouds, wind and spot bursts of rain. Glad to hear that there was a lot less devastation with this hurricane.

A group of us went out to Copella to practice some softball in a field near a grouping of four little league diamonds. Rita kept moving the ball around and causing general mischief. It's hard to field a grounder or catch a fly ball that is being moved several feet to your right before you even have the chance to grab it. No pictures of while we were playing, but here are a few from my balcony again.

Still no rain. Beautiful sunset though.

Never come back, you jackassed, backstabing, jerkass.

Turns out we're not even going to get any rain, but the levy in New Orleans has failed again. My prayers for those in Louisiana and Galveston.

An explanation for the president's attempted rockin':

Q But it sounds like a bit of a photo op, one that he'd prefer over playing the guitar at the airport photo op.

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, first of all, let's correct the record on that. There was a reporter from your news organization that was backstage during that event. That was an event to go and thank our troops and talk about the war on terrorism. And it was not an event, as you may have portrayed to some people that are watching this out there by this simple statement. It was --

Q He didn't pick up the guitar while the hurricane was rolling into Louisiana?

MR. McCLELLAN: -- much more than that. The person that was entertaining our troops there presented a gift to the President. So I think you need to make that clear to everybody who's watching this or to your viewers. And it was one of your colleagues at ABC News who was backstage taking a picture of that.

Q It was a very good picture and I'm proud of her, but the question I have --

MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, but that picture was taken by someone -- hang on, hang on, Terry -- that picture was taken by some people way out of context. And it was portrayed that the President was simply doing that, and that's not the case, as you and I know.

Q The point was that he was over there and not --

MR. McCLELLAN: As you and I know, I had announced shortly before that, that we were returning the next morning. As you and I know, we had announced the President -- the day before -- all the briefings he was participating in. The President spoke the day before. He spoke that day about the hurricane. So let's just set the record straight.

I can't find the report, but I've been told that last night a news cast actually suggested that elecricity might be out for a month in Dallas and the surrounding areas after the hurricane aftermath cuts through Texas. A month! HAHA! This is the most believable thing I've ever heard!

Chimpanzee Learns to Fish

YES!!!

News casts continue to blow this way out of proportion. I mean, I recognize that this is a bad storm, worse than Katrina was, but the way in which they've terrified the DFW area is utterly astounding. They were actually suggesting that people stock up on water and food to hunker down for the wind and rain after-affects. It's the end of the world Dallas, might as well kill yourself or...you know, be an asshole on the news.

A Message to the Whole Lot of You

Tomorrow has been cut in half so we can all run home to prepare for the hurricane's onslaught. Despite Arlington/Dallas lying hundreds of miles (306.3) from where the hurricane is to hit we're still expecting a lot of rain, high winds and Biblical deathenings like you wouldn't believe. Four Horsemen and locusts? You bet! Should provide for some interesting stories and pictures. I'll keep you posted with the media's terrified broadcasts and my friends' nervous chattering. Especially of hovering cows.

Viewer Discretion is Advised

Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan demand fight to the death

In related news, Hurricane Rita, known to many as "The Penis Storm," had this to say: "The Penis Storm will take care of you ladies," said the Penis Strom while caressing both of their cheeks and wiping away tears. It then whispered, "Penis Storm."

How the plane landed perfectly without incident is beyond me. Clearly amazing.

And then I realized that I and my nearly hour long drive to work (each way) hated Rita...a lot. Like...a lot.

P.S. - Remind me why I moved here.

The more I listen to this new Kayne West disc the more I love it.

In other news, wack job escaped from mental hospital posing as weatherman, news at eleven. And now the weather...

My horoscope for this week:

"Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
You just thought it was a cool design, but people will soon inform you that the guy on your T-shirt was some Argentinean nutjob named Shea or something.

Rita comes hither

Everybody's out of the office today. Tom, Heather and Linda have all gone to the Managing Editors retreat to present the reports that I created over the past few months. In the mean time, I have nothing to do...so...who likes naps?

This Halloween, the Chicago crew will be dressing up like the cast of Wet Hot American Summer, and I'll be flying in for this reason and this reason alone. Yes! I will be making an appearance as Professor Neuman, David Hyde Pierce's character. That's right, I'll be a blonde mustached gentleman with short-shorts and giant glasses. "...we're having ourselves a cry." If anyone is interested in being Steve or Arty send me an email.

Matthew did well. "It's so hot the sweat on my undercarriage could irrigate a small radish farm."

While I was sleeping, this thing happened...and I cried a little about it.

Thank you Sketchdump, you've made my dreams come true. My dreams of seeing a robot and a monkey fight.

Mommy, I have to go number 1

Racists are stupid, plain and simple

As news spreads that Muslims are the only religious group to ever perform hate crimes, suggestions to wiretap mosques make perfect sense. Don’t they? Yeah, I thought not.

Penguins are Conservative Christians

The New York Times reports that Conservatives are claiming March of the Penguins is a "really ideal example of monogamy" and Christian ideals

Just look at the white and black feathers. Just like the clergy. What about that orangish, yellow part? Well, that's just the mark of sin.

I, uhh, I know, think that's stupid.

Walter Young: Beast-Man

This is Walter Young. He weighs around 280, mlb.com suggests that he's 320, and is the current first baseman for the Orioles. I point this out because he is a massive human being. Also, he hit his first career home run last night, and it was measured at around 426 feet. That...that's very, very far. He is a massive human being who will probably crush and eat several babies.

My horoscope for this week:

"Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
You're a proud individual, and there are just some things that you've never been able to bring yourself to say, but "Give me some more goddamned fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy right #@$^#ing now" isn't one of them.

Science News

1. Thanks a lot. The comet is extremely self-conscious about its "fragile, empty" interior, and you're not helping.

2. $50?! Do you know how big those damn things are?! They're massive!

3. Saturn, those colors look so good on you! For serious. They're so 'in season.'

Lists on top of factoids...

Too much yet nothing at all to discuss or reflect upon. The hurricane survivors are still in the YMCA/Rec Center down the street from my apartment. It smells less like gasoline and infections when you drive by with the windows down. The president has skirted any questions about how equipped he is at dealing with attacks and natural disasters. I got to see the Orioles win yesterday, and I want to go again tonight; probably will. Visiting Chicago and Decatur over the Halloween weekend to dress like a character, haven't chosen which yet, and go partying and trick-or-treating with my little sister. Since my last doctors appointment I've been trying to balance my insulin and blood sugar levels differently, but I think I may be failing as I don't feel particularly stable and well. We'll see what happens with that in the coming weeks. Talks with Ray at the game last night yielded thoughts of a enhanced podcasts and possible online cartoons. Late Registration and Plans are both excellent ("We can't afford not gas," is true), and deserve several spins in the iPod Nano that has yet to arrive. Families doing well, or so they tell me. Bart had to be put to sleep, and Greg didn't take it so well. Especially homesick lately. Makes sense too, lots of people at home who I miss.

Hope you're all doing well.

Not in the mood for posting today. Sorry to my...one or two readers.

Bart, Greg's dog of nine years, was put to sleep yesterday, and it's been really hard on him. It's moments like these that I regret moving at all. So much comfort given up to move down here with very little gained in return.

Pimpbot5000, white bread.

Tricky to know when to move

I've realized just how much I have no control over. My health, my job, my

surroundings. It's all started to pile and shift its weight. No longer am I able to tell people, truthfully, that I'm comfortable and happy. I won't be able to tell people that I'm far happier when others are happy, and when my surroundings are visceral and understood. It's a ghost day. The time when I receive phone calls from friends using exclamation for the day with punctuation when it’s unnecessary. I'll find myself moving through people and having them not notice that I'm here there after and until then.

It sounds overly dramatic, and it is. I'm just not sure in what other ways I

can describe it. There are times when I want to be left alone; sit in a overstuff chair and look out the window. When I realize that I've overextended myself and need to recharge. That time won't be this weekend. Parties, baseball games, and questionable relationships will sprout up and spread in endless paper fans. They'll wave and comfort for a moment, but tear and collapse to fall to the ground. That's how it ends, after all. You're never as much a celebrity as you are on your birthday, even if you never wanted to be noticed at all.

If you have the time, enjoy the revolution.

Dude! I swear, when they said Charleston they were talking about the candy factory. No? Damnit!

That's right, I love the Daily Show.

...in alphabetical order

My horoscope for this week:

"Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
Despite your claims of historical importance and the need to remember America's fallen heroes, the authorities continue to refuse to grant you the permits required by your avid group of drug-war re-enactors.

There was no color

Driving down the hill from my apartment and the buses still run. They're

moving more and more people in and out of the YMCA as young people walk to the Tom Thumb or gas station for their parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters or friends for cigarettes, snacks or medicine. The parking lot is blocked off by a cop car at each entrance and the line of six blue "Port-a-Johns." Early Saturday morning they unloaded the largest group since they began accepting people here. People walked off the buses and looked like they were seeing the sun for the first time or without it being filtered by the charcoal stick-on tints on all the bus windows. Drivers were the last off and the last to receive bedding on the floor next to the sea of blankets and cots and stacked pillows for anyone who had been injured. A week old beard hung off an old man's face as he waited to have his bandages replaced.

People have been complaining that so many of them will seek to stay in this

area and cause problems as employers will have pity on them as their homes are still submerged. They're afraid for their jobs. They want to contribute money to disaster relief funds so these people can go back with a new home and live and work there, but it doesn't matter. Fear from the community doesn't even strike those who are being cared for by way of government subsidies and donations from those who watch far too much TV. They haven’t realized yet that they’re alive, that they survived. Nervous, confused energy powers the YMCA down my street.

Long weekend, lots of footwork, non-sleep achieved...

From the Chicago streets come a booming

Liliana said it best.

I didn't think I could love Kanye anymore than I did, but this...he did something amazing. I gained an immense amount of respect for him.

News sources as a source of misinformation...again

So far I've seen quite a few cars that could be displaced from the New Orleans

area around the Arlington and Dallas area. But the real issue that I've had to deal with is people calling those people refugees. Umm, they're not refugees. The whole idea of calling them refugees cogitates something completely different for me than people who had to flee from their homes for a short time. Refugees, for me, tend to be people who are forced out of their homes indefinitely. These people will be able to go back to the New Orleans area within a couple weeks not a few years.

Actually, the pure definition of the word is very different than news

reporters are suggesting.

From dictionary.com: ref·u·gee (n.) One who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppression, or religious persecution.

Sorry, I’ll get off my soap box.

Sam Ash?

Oh, "Drunko"

Last night we went out to celebrate Yoshee and Stephanie's birthday at a

couple bars in Dallas. Just when I was conscious of things getting a little crazy, Frank turned up the charm to drown it out. It feels good not to have to be on all the time, and some level of calm washed. I just sat back and laughed. It's just too bad that Andrea became his fodder later in the night..