I wanted to leave the second I hung up with you…

I saw the lights flash not more than two seconds after they were turned on. I

slowed down, not knowing whom he/she was interested in.

Pulling into a gas station off the service road I turned the car and lights off,

waiting for a tap at the window. The officer asked if there was a reason why I was in such a rush. "I've had a very rough night," of fighting with myself. Trying to fight back the swell around my eyelashes and the guilt throbbing between my stomach and throat. "I see," it's not that easy. It's not a situation of 'seeing' anything, it's of sitting in your friends bed room on the phone with your mother telling her about a phone call you just got, "I'm going to need to see your license and proof of insurance." "Sure," if only things were that easy. Plastic coated license in the wallet, rectangular insurance card in the glove compartment pulled out and surrendered. "Thanks very much," I didn't talk much. Didn't retaliate the way I probably should have. Wasn't in the same state, that's my fault, yet. Didn't pray enough, that's my fault, for his health. Failed to think this was in anyway going to happen, that's also my fault, to such a good friend's father.

"Hi, mom. I'm sorry to wake you. Jon called me, and his dad's not doing well."

We all love you Jon, and your family. And we'll be here with you throughout.

And this time I'll pray more, and I'll relinquish myself to what's building in my eye ducts. And God will tend to your dad, who so many people love and respect. Especially my family and me.