Science News!

1. Tickets will later be sold to patrons who wish to be mauled by the panda's mother.

2. Scientists are also suggesting that trees can be used for what is now being called "shade."

3. The lamb and sheep population of the Amazon region let out a simultanious "phew" when they heard the news.

4. "Several clues led scientists to believe the wine may have been red..." The primary of which was a stain discovered on King Tut's favorite shirt, the shirt proudly displaying the words "The Hamptons do it better".

5. And several Simpsons writters smiled knowingly.