"Hello, this is David, I have killed my coworkers and shoved their brains in to my cranium. Ask me any question as I have their combined knowledge base."

In about ten minutes I will be forced to take my first conference call by my lonesome. Now,

there is a stipulation to this, I have taken a conference call of about five people last week, but it's subject matter was the new statistics software we're using and not the livelihood of our journals. This is pretty crazy. Regardless, I'm going to try to be as silent as possible, taking notes on my agenda waiting for the managers to conclude their call with Stephen (the director) and join me on the call; hitting the mute button often to mask my coughing or to take a drink of water. I will also be required to report everything that transpires to the managers and to Stephen to ensure that they stay in the loop. As it stands, I'm sure there will be a lot of talk about Clemson’s win over the Terps of Maryland and the Missouri/Kansas game. I'm sure I'll say something like, "Don't you worry about your precious little teams, I'm sure that University of Illinois will be nice and gentle as they roll over everyone." They'll laugh, but know that I'm right. And I really don't follow college basketball all to closely. Maybe I should call Matthew to get some coaching in before the call. To add to my arsenal of knowing that U of I's record is 30-1 and have the most dominant starting three-some in the tournament. That's...about all I know really. I mean, I saw the last game, the one game they've lost all season, but that doesn't provide me with enough of an umph to throw factoids into the conversation. Actually, I should probably try to steer the conversation back on topic, "so I have some stats for Circ over the past week, and I'll have better numbers by the months end. Aren't I cool?" Then, they'll laugh; because, I'm not. It'll be mocking laughter. That's how they roll out here. And I'm getting pretty used to it. Bring it, and I'll just self deprecate the crap out of myself.

Meeting time!