Word to the wise
attempt to get your affairs in order before you move on, or you will be carded at the next door with your wallet in your other pants.
So, I haven't posted anything for quite a while. Reason being, I've been incredibly busy, or so I tell
myself. I'm really not all that busy; more like unmotivated. I mean, I should be a sleep right now, but I'm not. I'm sitting here with my room mate, in our "office" typing away and listening to Dj Shadow. He's mesmerized and it makes me happy that he's here and that I'm not alone again. At a time like this I'm not sure that I could be handling anything very well if not for this dude sitting behind me. Its interesting, neither of us felt that it would be weird to move the beds into one room to create an office/recording room for ourselves. It may have been a matter of necessity, or a matter of realizing just how alike we were, right from the start. I had that feeling before, still do, but its different now. Brain ripples and waves provide me with common sense but I ignore those messages. As if I were back in high school rebelling from nothing but what I thought was of the utmost importance. None of that matters now. Being a renegade is a silly mentality to me. Right now I'm trying hard to be myself without any of those forced behavior patterns. Floating on as smoothly as possible, but it never works out that way. I hit rocks all the time, my canoe is tipped and I flow out into the rapids. It's not as if I enjoy this period; it just happens. And I'm left in a depressive state. Like being at the butt-end of a joke for years and just now finding out what all was going on. Its aggravating, disorienting and normal at this point. If things weren't this way, if life were the Dead Sea, I wouldn't know what to do. Would I feel as "passionately" as people tell me that I appear? Would I stop caring all together? Questions, questions, questions, and the dog outside that will undoubtedly wake me up between three and four in the morning to whimper and bark as I stare out my unkempt window, unaware that my lack of sleep is the least of my problems.
